How carp fishing has 'developed' over the years

Thankfully, it’s an ever-changing world out there and sure enough, on looking back, this business we call ‘carp’ has been rolled forward by Old Father Time, like a dung beetle rolls… Actually, let’s not go there. Let’s just say that this week’s chunky knit sweater (with elasticated beard) could be next week’s Realtree; so what’s changed?

1. Attire

When CARPology first popped its cover out of our collective Jack and Danny, it was truly the Hoody Age (post Jurassic, pre Diem). Anyone who was anyone lived and breathed in a hoody; Fruit of the Loom even brought out an ‘Olive’ hoody demand was so great (fact). Pre-everything going to China, all you had to do was pull out the label and draw another zero on the price, and ‘voila’, you were a carp brand. Wear said garm and you were as good as sponsored, as long as the guy from the tackle shop where you bought your bait didn’t turn up. You were, the ‘Hooded Hauler!’

But where are we now? Oh. Nothing advanced there then… In fact, the advent of the chunky knit suggest that the old fishing jerkin may have gone backwards?

2. Camo

Did you know we designed the initial ‘dummy’ of CARPology with a Realtree cover such was its cult status at the time? Bill Jordan’s ‘Hardwood’ was the talk of the town (as mine was once, but that’s between me and the courts), soon to be superseded to milk the burgeoning market by ‘Hardwoods Green’. No, not a yeast infection; it was exactly the same pattern with a bit of salad on it. Trees would slowly move around lakes, bushes would make tea and if you pissed up the hedge you were risking a punch up the bracket such was its effectiveness.

And now? DPM. Yup, DP bloody M. No, not a sexual proclivity, the approved camo of the armed forces. We’ve gone from Arnie’s Predator to Dad’s Army in 150 (pristine) issues. Backwards 2 – Forwards 0.

3. Reels

Since the Shimano Battle Fleet flew into carp angling in its stealth black cloak, we’ve been through every colour under the sun, even white (I still wince). And now where are we? Back to black. Am I seeing a pattern here? Let’s explore further…
Actually, reel design has come on several-fold. The old coffee grinders now look like interstellar (lovely girl) craft, hung from space racks bound for the planet Tosser. Liquid, giger*-like lines cloak a machine hewn from precious meta… Hang on a minute, the other option’s a 30-year-old reel dipped in bitumen-like matt black… It’s not even polished! As mine scream their agreement, I’ll frown as I see the world of the pond pig angler slip further backwards… Three nil.

4. Rods

Resting like Darth Vader’s Light Sabre across your Delks, your ‘swords’ hang the latest, hoop-like, strangely bent rod rings in the breeze. These rings, only made that big to get the name of the bloody liner metal on ‘em, attract a swathe of magpies from far and wide such is their glint. The rod build in a woven carbon swell to the… Cork handle? You mean the human race develops technologies, methods, materials; some even employing constituent parts derived from other planets; for you to wrap your rod butt in the bit of a tree the ant eaters piss on? FFS. Four nil.

5. Buzzers

Massive advances by the audible and visual indication giants of Fox, Delkim, ATT, ACE and Quality Street (they are getting smaller) have had their pomme-frites somewhat pissed on by the cheery ‘PEEP’ of the Neville. Boasting such impressive features as ‘On-Off’, ‘Magnets’, ‘Light’ (singular not plural), Low Battery Warning (it stops working), Over-Tightening Indication (it cracks) and ‘Brass’, the Neville has what all of the others haven’t: character. One “character’ beats a flush of ‘Drop-Back Differentials’, ‘Poly-Tossing-Phonics’ or ‘Bleep-To-Bleep Sounder Capability’. Bless ‘em! Beautiful, but backwards. 5-0 at half time.